Life Coach

Life Coach (Croydon)

A life coach acts as your personal cheerleader, mentor, and confidant, helping you navigate through challenges and inspiring you to reach new heights. Life Coach is a bit like an contract or agreement to do better with your life, but not on your own. You agree to make certain efforts and then someone will check on you in a week or so where you need to be accountable for what you did.

Success is a drug and I am hooked! Repeatedly, I hear an "achievement unlocked" ding, but this time it's my life and not a video game. I can't wait for the next level-up in my life! My techniques are refined by science and work like a charm. I have seen them work on myself, my friends, my colleagues, my employees and my clients. So why keep them to myself? Surely, that would be unfair on the rest of the world! I am here to provide you with a chance to CHANGE YOUR LIFE! I do charge, but I am reasonable with my rates and offer free introductions / discounts to make them available to people who are not yet enjoying the fruit of their financial labours. I also offer Spiritual Life-coaching which is based around Theury, Hermetics, Alchemy and Astrology.

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What are the Benefits?

So, why choose life coaching? Here are just a few of the incredible benefits you can expect:

Benefits of Life Coaching:

• Clarity and vision: Life coaching helps you gain a crystal-clear understanding of what you truly want in life. Through thought-provoking conversations and introspection, you'll identify your values, passions, and aspirations, enabling you to set meaningful goals that align with your authentic self.
• Goal Achievement: Have you ever set goals, but struggled to follow through? A life coach will provide you with the tools and strategies to break down your goals into actionable steps. They will hold you accountable, motivate you, and celebrate your successes along the way, ensuring you stay on track and achieve what you set out to accomplish. Have a look below at some of the achievements we accomplished.
• Self-Discovery and Growth: Life coaching is a journey of self-discovery, where you'll explore your strengths, values, and limiting beliefs. By gaining a deeper understanding of yourself, you can overcome self-doubt, embrace your uniqueness, and unlock your untapped potential. With a life coach by your side, you'll continuously grow and evolve into the best version of yourself.
• Overcoming Obstacles: Life is filled with challenges, but with the guidance of a life coach, you'll learn effective strategies to overcome obstacles and setbacks. Whether it's managing stress, improving relationships, or enhancing your confidence, a life coach will equip you with the tools and techniques to navigate any hurdle that comes your way.
• Work-Life Balance: Are you struggling to find harmony between your personal and professional life? A life coach can help you create a healthy work-life balance tailored to your unique needs. You'll discover strategies to prioritize self-care, manage your time effectively, and find fulfillment in all areas of your life.

My own achievements through using these techniques:

• I completely changed my career from a dead-end low-paid job and now I earn two and a half times what I used to earn. That's more than double!
• I overcame chronic spending habits and paid off £16,000 of debt mostly while on a below-average salary. Having changed my career, I saved money and bought my first house.
• I committed to Kung fu for years until it was no longer available due to covid restrictions. Just so you know, I am not a sporty person. You might think "oh, he is the sort of person who would do that", but I have been classified as "morbidly obese" since I was about 13. I was bone idle. Me getting into a sport was a bigger deal than you know. I still am very big, but over time I am converting some of that to muscle slowly and healthily.
• After Covid restrictions, I worked on a Couch to 5k, took up hiking and climbed the tallest mountain in Wales. Again I am more of a couch potato than a hiker and I still climbed a mountain!
• In addition to Life Coaching and my work in software development, I have started a limited company which still runs today having survived Brexit, Covid-lockdown and cost of living crisis where many businesses went bankrupt. It provides opportunities for LGBTQIA+ artists and I have used it to raise money for tackling LGBTQIA+ homelessness in London.
• I changed my house cleaning habits to keep everything cleaner and in better order.
• I overcame body issues and allowed myself to be photographed naked and pictures to be put in public view.
• I got myself in the saddle of going to the gym regularly overcoming many issues a big guy like me has.
• I overcame difficulties caused by dyslexia, re-learned to read and write, re-studied grammar at a level never covered in school, obtained a 60 word per minute typing speed, learned to proof read and obtained legible cursive handwriting.
• I increased my capacity to express myself through music, song and stand-up comedy.

Through coaching and mentoring, I have helped other people:

• Take up new and exciting hobbies and find ways to commit regular time to the hobbies
• Plan their money and stick closer to budgets
• Draw up 1-year, 2-year and 5-year plans for life
• Practice and develop better assertiveness in relationships
• Prioritise their goals
• Increase their confidence in management
• Prioritise themselves, understand why they always put other people first and increase their sense of self-worth
• Find freedom and self-expression in dramatic arts
• And in my spiritual life coaching, I have helped people:
  • Pursue the study of Wicca's 3 degrees
  • Pursue Hermetic Arts and balance their inner elements
  • Pursue Astrological spirituality

Let me be totally clear if your goals are not on this list then doesn't mean we don't do them! Life Coaching is perfectly catered to you as the client. We just need to formulate a different plan to what we have done before and I know in a year or so you're going to be a success story for me to add here.

Is Life Coaching for You?

Remember, life coaching is not just for those facing major life-crises; it's for anyone who desires positive change, growth, and fulfillment. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, a career professional, a student, or a homemaker, life coaching can transform your life in ways you never imagined.

Life Coaching does ask a few things of you. One ask is that you are able to attend some face-to-face sessions with your Life Coach and some telephone calls. I prefer to meet face-to-face in public. Ideally while going for a walk in the park or socialising in a coffee shop in Croydon or the surrounding areas. This lets me get some of my exercise in and get out of the house. I also tend to do 3-4 prearranged calls lasting 5-15mins to check on progress in weeks when I am not meeting a client face-to-face. If you can't fit this in then Life Coaching might not be for you right now.

Life Coaching takes some effort. We break your goals down into nice stepping stones so you can get there piece by piece. It should be easy, but you still need to be willing to try. I don't change your life for you, I help you find the easiest way to revolutionise your life. Life Coaching is for you, if you're not always bone idle and you can make the little steps that are the beginning of a bigger journey.

Life Coaching requires a open mind and testing mentality. You need to approach it with an open mind and check to see what works. Test Life Coaching to see if it works and you will see results, but if you can only assume it will fail then you might never fully engage with it. Also it is very common for clients to normalise what they do succeed at. They say things like "everyone could do that!". They fail to recognise when they have done well.

You need to want real change. We have all had clients who came in with problems and did not actually want the problems to change. Having the problems earned them sympathy, benefits and an excuse to get out of things they didn't like. So deep down they're happy to keep the issues they are and solving their problems is actually undesirable. In fact if you're struggling to change some behaviour I often ask you what are the ways your current behaviour is working for you? Then we might find there's a reason you have kept the behaviour. Sometimes we find with a few adjustments to make allowance for the reasons why it benefits you then you can change.

So to summarise, Life Coaching is for you if (you can check the boxes if you want):

you desire positive change

you have an an open mind

you can honestly look at measured evidence to see if something is working or not

you can fit in a face-to-face meeting once a month

you can make the little steps necessary to slowly get you toward your goal. (That does mean however not spending every moment of your free time watching tv, Youtube and playing video games every for ALL of your free time. Hard isn't it? Well for me it's time I leveled up me rather than my Skyrim character.)

Does Life Coaching Work?

Yes. It works. The more important question is does it work 100%? And Does it work 100% of the time? Sadly the answers to these question is not always yes. Life Coaching is only guidance you need to try to walk the walk. I have never seen it fail, but sometimes people expect the moon on a string. Life Coaching is a process. It improves things, a little bit at a time. It gives you stepping stones so you can track your progress and puts you on an upward trajectory. However, it also needs you to put in the work too. The more you put in, the more you get out until eventually it has worked its magic and you look back and you transformed yourself into a whole new person. Also other people notice too.

Some people can have deep set beliefs that they will fail before they start. Often it is difficult to win if you're starting off with a belief you're going to fail. Also, some people check out of the process before they have a chance to see any results. "Oh I didn't lose 5kg in my first week, I quit!". Some people achieve so much, but then they struggle to agree they have achieved anything. They find ways to normalise it. "Oh a normal person could have done that. It was nothing special" often when working on the most difficult parts of their lives. For example, I had so many insecurities with going into a gym that I could not attend a gym. I worked on them and walked into a gym and did a 30-minute set. Then I walked out. After that I told myself well everyone goes to a gym. It was nothing special. However, I had done so much work facing my own insecurities and doing something that had been impossible before. It's soo important to look back and see what we achieved and not normalise everything until it doesn't seem impressive anymore. Life Coaching can work so long as you believe in the scientifically refined process based on psychology and therapy techniques, then you need to persevere (at least for a few weeks) and use the tools to look back and see your achievements. Then I have little doubt, you will achieve something. It's then important not to dismiss or normalise the change you achieved.

If you came to me and said "I am so unorganised I never cook meals and I never have stuff ready for work so I rush around in the mornings". I don't expect that a week later you are cooking 7 meals a week and always have your bag ready in the car the night before work every day. Instead, we might discuss some easy to cook meals which are within your budget, that aren't too bad for whatever diet you might be on. You might plan to cook 3 times a week and each time you make enough that there is a second course in the fridge or freezer for another day's lunch or dinner. You would have an easy access shopping list for it on your phone so you always happen to have it when you go to the supermarket. You also might have a check list or something that helps your morning routine feel less crazy.

Hopefully a few weeks down the line you're cooking closer to 4 or 5 times per week and have plenty of left overs for the other days. Maybe you accept that once a week you might like to go out to dinner with friends or go to a friend's house for dinner so you only need to plan 6 dinners a week not 7. Maybe eventually you will have your bag ready for work and part of your evening wind down is making sure everything is ready for tomorrow so you have less to sort out maybe months down the line you enjoy the habit of picking out tomorrow's outfit.

Eventually when you're making progress, we put in patterns for making sure if you fall off the bandwagon then you can easily get back on. Or when you spot that you're derailing you can get yourself back on track because you completely crash.

If however you didn't reach the lofty goal of going from cooking 0 meals to cooking 14 and when you didn't achieve this in the first week you immediately quit the process then you stopped using the meal plan we drew up together because you associate it with failure so when you do cook you pick roast dinners and things which take 2 hours+ to cook, then you're setting yourself up for failure. In fact often many people have this self-saboteur which stops their change and it can frequently take at least the first month to get used to a new routine.

A key part of Life Coaching is checking in regularly and seeing if something is working. Where something is not working we need to change tactics. Also if something is getting you de-railed then we create a strategy for dealing with the metaphorical train to get it to stay on the tracks rather than just derail completely.

Am I the right coach for you?

Well sometimes we need a coach with a similar mindset to us, but most coaches are trained to put aside their own mentality. We all should have some kind of accredited training, so we should all be able to offer similar services no matter how unique we are. Maybe for you, you might want a person with a certain type of personality and success so I am going to share with you a little bit about me.

Check out this article about me

Why does my Life Coaching work? (My Techniques)

So my Life Coaching works with the techniques that I used to help myself turn my life around. I did not choose to learn what sounded cool and was popular at the time, in fact, I learned what was needed as and when it was needed to keep only to successful, proven life-changing technologies. Techniques I use include:

• SMART goals
• Progress Measuring
• Life balance analysis
• GROW analysis
• CBT
• Behavioural Actions (Self-care)
• NLP
• Hypnosis
• Visualisation
• Assertiveness and Boundary setting Roleplay
• Confidence Roleplay
• Do-over Roleplay
• Financial Re-scripting
• Budgeting and Money flow restructuring
• Jungian Shadow work
• Dream Analysis
• Inner-child work
• Dopamine detox
• Wellness planning
• Crisis planning
• Affirmations and/or Daily Gratitude

I use well-established and scientifically proven techniques like CBT, but I don't just do them one way. Not everyone's brain works the same way and there is not just one way to do CBT. Sometimes you might have a more common ABC-DE diagram with columns for beliefs and consequences, but sometimes you need to act out a certain scene from the last week to listen in on what you tell yourself during such a scene, we might need to put things on sliding lines to acknowledge all the greys and step away from our black and white thinking, we can play the why game to get to the root of something or sometimes you can even be guided on an imaginative journey and have conversations with different parts of yourself. Some brains are not neurotypical so they benefit more from certain activities than others. Note: I do not use CBT to treat or diagnose mental illnesses, if our work goes in a direction that indicates these I will be required to refer you to a person more qualified to administer mental health treatment. However, I can use these techniques for removing success-limiting beliefs, improving confidence and recognising and eliminating self-sabotaging scripts. I am trained to use hypnotic induction to take you to a light trance where you can more easily access your thoughts in a judgement-free way and discover what your subconscious is saying about what is going on. Between these techniques, we can work together to eliminate beliefs that prevent you from reaching your goals and practice behaviours that will see you crowed champion of the near future.

I use role-play techniques to establish healthier actions and choices. This is perfect for practising assertiveness, and confidence and establishing healthier patterns of behaviour, particularly when dealing with other people. I can use NLP and Hypnosis to establish powerful triggers to help bring out preferred behaviour patterns. By combining these techniques you can totally change the way you act.

One of the most beneficial things is often to establish a plan. The point of a plan is not to go straight for your goals, that does not always work. When you plan you put in place all the healthy things which make you more likely to achieve your goals, you plan stepping stones and milestones so you can slowly progress to what you want. You also set up short-term goals and long-term goals so you're not always reaching to achieve goals in the distant future.

There's an array of techniques to help you figure out what changes you want to make to your life. They can figure out what's going to make the most difference, change your mind, change your behaviour and practice your new behaviour. Before long there's a whole new brand new you.

What Life Coaching is not?

Life Coaching is not Therapy. Life Coaching often helps us have a healthier approach to life and it is normal for a person's mental health to be much better as a result of life coaching. However, Life Coaches are not trained to deal with poor mental health conditions. They cannot diagnose or treat mental illness. Often as a result of hypnotherapy and CBT a life coach might come across some beliefs that are causing poor mental health and it is recommended that the client turns to a fully qualified and experienced therapist rather than deal with the mental health issue through life coaching. The Life Coach is unlikely to be sufficiently qualified to proceed to treat the client for mental illness.

Life Coaching is not Financial Advice. Often we know what to do with our money, but we don't do it. We get takeout and let food go off in our fridge. We do not limit what we spend on a night out. We spend 75% of our wages in the first week of the month. Life Coaching can help us do what we already know is the right action to do with our money, but a Life Coach is not qualified to tell us what the best course of action to take with our money. If you decided you want to invest your money in something very risky like Crypto or stocks, but you are struggling to stop buying expensive coffees, magazines and lunches. I can help you plan your days better so that you spend less money on cups of coffee, magazines and lunches, but I cannot advise whether or not it is a suitable idea to put the spare money into Crypto or stocks or whether developing a 3-5 month cushion might be a better idea. I know what I would pick, but I cannot advise you. If I were to advise wrong I could be opening myself to a whole heap of litigation. In some situations, I could be sued even if I gave the right advice!

Life Coaching is not nutritional advice. When we are ordering a portion of chips and curry sauce, we already know that are not eating as well as we could be. If we grilled the chicken breast in the fridge and ate it with roasted Mediterranean vegetables we might get better protein AND nutrients, but we still make the mistake of ordering the take out. Life Coaching can help you make better decisions and have take out in moderation, but we cannot advise you what is the best food for you. Often different people need different kinds of food and we cannot advise. But normally, you have a good idea what is the right thing to do and we can help you do this. Interestingly, when studying Life Coaching one of the examples is a client who wants to start juicing. The client is going to blend loads of fruit. Reading the example, I knew that most of the diet pages on the internet would say for most people that is too much sugar and most of the nutrients have been destroyed so it isn't actually healthy, however that's not our approach. I can't tell you what I read one time online on a site that might not be reputable. I am not trained and I could mislead you. If you say you think juicing is a good idea, I will do what I can to get you juicing. I might encourage you to check out an unbiased diet page, but if you want to blend tuns of sugary fruit then you got it! It's not my place to advise you what to do only to get you to reach the goal YOU set for yourself. The same is true with exercie. I am not a PT, but if you know you want to do 20minutes of zumba DVD 3-times a week I will be there with a chart and worksheet ready to figure out what is going to get in your way and how to defeat it like the boss at the end of a dungeon.

Conclusion

Life Coaching is freedom. It's about being freer to be who you want to be. Looking at your life as a whole and transforming it. Your life coach looks at the blockages you have in your life preventing you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do and gives you the tools to remove them.

Life Coaches can use a range of tools, but generally they do not advise what you do with your life, they only advise what tools might help you plan and commit to that. They can lead you in using on a number of psychological and scientifically proven tools and methods which enable you to get the life you want.

Life Coaches are not financial advisors, nutritionists, PTs or therapists, but they can lead you to use what you already know to live a fiscally sensible, healthier and happier life.

In the words of one of my favourite bands when I was a boy "We were meant to live for so much more" and "I dare you to move". Don't settle for a mediocre existence. Embrace the power of life coaching and unlock your true potential. Take that first step towards a brighter future today!

Contact me now to embark on a life-changing journey with a skilled life coach who will empower you to overcome challenges, seize opportunities, and create a life that brings you joy and fulfillment. Your best life awaits!

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